Just before giving birth I have to admit that I was a bit of a mess. Somehow all of the scary stories I had ever heard about the big boogey man of labour were right at the fore of my mind. My friends who had never given birth were especially skilled at brewing my fear . They were forever hinting at scary details about labour that they swore were a certainty.
It’s not surprising really that as my due date came and went, that I went into a form of hibernation.
I turned off my phone; no more annoying excited ‘so has it happened?’ calls. I tried to avoid meeting anyone I know; no more talk about how I looked as I though I was about to ‘pop’ which I translated as’die’. Instead, I created a kind of Pre-labour, Anti -Panic Attack Retreat. As my husband woke up for work, so did I. I ate well, trying to avoid anything too sugary as I swear it is not good for my anxiety. I started my day with nothing but utter positivity in the morning; Buddhist talks, Joyce Meyer sermons all courtesy of Youtube. I took positive, cheerleader- esque notes and wrote my favourite quotes in a book which I took with me into labour. After well and truly slavering myself in utter positivity, me and my bump would bumble through Humpty Dumpty style yoga, focusing on poses that were said to be the antidote to anxiety.
I offended a few people who wanted to talk about the impending day by telling them that I was not talking but instead hibernating, but frankly, I didn’t care.
I did not want to go into labour needing tranquillisers because I had let fear take over.When the time came for me to go into hospital, I was 100x calmer than I ever thought I would be.
Incredibly, giving birth turned out to be one of the best experience I have ever had and thankfully not as scary as I had built it up to be. Staying calm before labour definitely helped.
My top tips for staying calm before labour:
Exercise. When you can just about breathe because your organs are being squeezed by your bundle of joy, exercise may feel like it’s impossible but just knowing I attempted exercising helped to make me feel good. Listen to your body but I think it’s worth doing something, even if it is just walking around your kitchen a couple of times.
Do things that make you feel positive– I wrote quotes and listened to positive talks. That also means avoiding negative stuff-I could not even watch some adverts or shows that I used to enjoy pre-pregnancy like Orange is the new black because they just made me too emotional.
Try to make sure you have a way of releasing any overwhelming emotions– talking to my super positive friend whose mum happened to be a midwife helped me lots.I also re-discovered my diary.
© Filter Free Mama 2016
So E is unwell, nothing serious just the flu but today as he lay in bed in a drowsy, snot filled haze I lay next to him, staring. As I patted his head and listened to his fluey breathing I began to tear up.
I had an office to sort out, food shopping to do and cooking on the fire but for some reason unbeknown to me I was crying because my husband had his annual dose of the flu.
After about ten minutes of intense staring, patting and crying I pulled myself together and popped off to Sainsburys to get some immune boosting food.
The walk helped me clear up my mind and get over my moment of intense
madness attachment.I think that my primal evolutionary instincts are kicking in, alerting me that I need to look after my ‘mate’ to successfully get the resources to provide for my young or maybe it’s just the hormones.
I dont know but I hope that this isn’t a sign of my behaviour to come with our bubba. I need to woman up.
Currently: 35 weeks
Craving: Ice cold smoothies ( I drink about a litre of the homemade stuff every day!) and cold drinks.
Feeling: Relaxed, excited and in awe of those who give birth. My friend gave birth yesterday and was busy whatsapping today! #goals
Before getting the all important evidence that I was pregnant, my out of the ordinary symptoms made me sure that this time I was actually pregnant.
Here were my early pregnancy symptoms:
My boobs were sore
They felt tingly especially in the nipple area just like they do before my monthly is about to start. Only this time the boob pain did not go away like it usually does.
I got an interesting discharge
I diligently prepared for my period complete with my monthly granny knickers but instead there was something which resembled cervical mucus, which I get during super fertile times in my cycle, with a tiny spot of brown.
I thought this was a sign that my period was starting in an odd way but it turns out that it may have been implantation bleeding
I sobbed about things which were not sob-worthy
On our honeymoon I remember looking at my new, amazing husband and our lovely, luxurious Swim up room and thinking about the gorgeous dinner we were just about to indulge in, when I just couldn’t take it anymore. I burst into uncontrollable, quite insane tears. When H asked what was wrong, in between sobs I managed, ‘I’m just (breath) so haaaapppy’ before beginning another cycle of breathy sobs. It goes without saying that those level of tears were just a little bit OTT.
I felt a prick like pain in a specific place in my tummy
I’m not quite sure if describing it as painful is quite accurate but it was definitely uncomfortable. It felt like someone had the fine point of a crochet needle and was gently prodding in a particular part of my belly occasionally.
Did you get any other early pregancy symptoms? Anyone else for crochet needle point pain?!?
I’m pregnant. Actually, really pregnant. When I told H that I thought I was, he didn’t quite believe me. In the airport on the way back home I determinedly hunted out a pregnancy test whilst he coolly took in episode # 7892 of ‘Nat thinks she is pregnant again’. As I rushed upstairs to FINALLY do the test he busied himself unpacking, clearly not expecting anything.
But when I saw the mystical two lines on my test and rushed bellowing downstairs, parading my precious evidence to him, I expected the tears and amazement that I have seen lots from new YouTube dads but I got none of that.Apparently one of the lines was faint. I rushed out to Sainsburys determined to get some concrete evidence and promptly peed on a clear blue test which tells you if you’re pregnant and when you conceived.
It was there, declaring that our baby was probably created very soon after our wedding.
I have to admit that I can’t even remember the number of times that I have thought I was pregnant, come to think of it, probably every single time I have done the deed despite the battleaxe of contraception that I have armoured myself with. When we got married we did not use any contraception for the first time ever, not knowing how long it would take us to conceive.
Since finding out I’ve been a busy bee.
We moved house over a year ago but I’ve finally signed up to a local doctor. Having to hobble over one hour away for an appointment is not a good look. I’ve told maternity services that I have a Wedding Night/ Honeymoon Bun in the oven so will soon have an appointment with my midwife and an ultrasound scam.
I’m six weeks pregnant; my app tells me that this means that our bubba is the size of a chocolate chip. I have a new respect and confidence in my body, look what it has done!!
Our bubba is due on 22nd January. This blog is going to detail my metamorphosis into motherhood.