Caught up in Hurricane Motherhood

Hey lovelies,

I have been gone for a hot minute (or couple of months).

I have given birth(!?!!) and now have a gorgeous, incredible, actual, real seven week old daughter.I have missed blogging and finally feel that I can get back on it.

In the next couple of blogs I will give you the 411 about what how the birth went. Once you’re all caught up, I’ll let you know about what mummy adventures and discoveries my days now hold.

Honestly guys, becoming a mother has been incredible. It was something I was so so scared about but it is turning out to be the best, full stop. Looking forward to sharing this all with you and hopefully getting your comments/advice/general musings.

Lots of love

Nat

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My husband’s sick, I’m pregnant and acting like a bit of a psycho…

So E is unwell, nothing serious just the flu but today as he lay in bed in a drowsy, snot filled haze I lay next to him, staring. As I patted his head and listened to his fluey breathing I began to tear up.

I had an office to sort out, food shopping to do and cooking on the fire but for some reason unbeknown to me I was crying because my husband had his annual dose of the flu.

After about ten minutes of intense staring, patting and crying I pulled myself together and popped off to Sainsburys to get some immune boosting food.

The walk helped me clear up my mind and get over my moment of intense madness attachment.I think that my primal evolutionary instincts are kicking in, alerting me that I need to look after my ‘mate’ to successfully get the resources to provide for my young or maybe it’s just the hormones.

I dont know but I hope that this isn’t a sign of my behaviour to come with our bubba. I need to woman up.

Pregnancy Progress

Currently: 35 weeks

Craving: Ice cold smoothies ( I drink about a litre of the homemade stuff every day!) and cold drinks.

Feeling: Relaxed, excited and in awe of those who give birth. My friend gave birth yesterday and was busy whatsapping today! #goals

12 week Blood Test Drama

After my amazing first scan I ended up being one of those people who get a call to say that something was wrong with their 12 week blood test. Just as I thought I had learnt to harness the power of  positive thinking, it was tested resulting in my old friend Mr  Anxiety showing me that I wasn’t quite the Positivity Guru that I thought I was.

My Papp A levels were low, this shows how well the placenta is functioning. My HCG levels were also high as though I had twins or something. Overall both blood tests indicated that we had a 1 in 65 chance of having a baby with Downs Syndrome.

I know that lots of people cope fine and love life with their child who has this condition but this scared me. I chose to see specialists at Kings to get a CVS test. It was quite overwhelming when I saw how many specialists there were in the room (about 6 I think) but I felt quite relaxed, happy that I would be more informed.

The test involved the doctors putting a long needle in my belly to get some placenta to test the cells to be able to know conclusively if our bubba had downs or another condition like cerebral palsy.

When they injected me with the anaesthetic before collecting samples of placenta that hurt but apart from that I just felt slight internal pulling.

I was impressed with how well I handled the test but waiting for the results was horrible.

I found myself googling and looking into forums about those who had the tests and what they found. I now know that you should never ever google when you are worried about something that you can not control as this just made my anxiety worse. On the day the results were due I was in full panic attack mode but managed to call E to press the hospital for the test results. They called me back immediately and told me all seemed fine. Our baby did not have any of the conditions they tested for. I was relieved but also felt a bit guilty as I realised that whilst I had been waiting for the results I hadn’t been looking after myself very well and thought less about my baby as my child but as a problem. As low Papp A levels can result in growth problems and pre-eclampsia I was immediately put on a daily dose of aspirin.

I think I’ve been avoiding writing about this as it was a scary, overwhelming time for me. However, this experience makes me so so grateful now when I hear good news about the progress of our bubba’s growth.

My 12 Week Scan: An Acrobatic Baby

I have not posted for ages, so much pregnancy- related shizzle has happened that I’ve just been focusing on trying to keep myself sane. At first everything seemed to be going well.

Before my 12 week scan I didn’t quite believe that I really had an actual baby in my belly. Therefore when the day of the scan arrived I stared spellbound at the screen as the Sonographer confidently pointed out my baby’s legs and heartbeat and head. It was real. The whole pregnancy thing was no longer just an idea in my head but my real, tangible life.

The Sonographer announced that everything ‘appeared normal’ but she couldn’t quite get a Nuchal Translucency measurement, which measures the fluid behind a foetus’ neck which is a marker of downs syndrome.

Our baby was very active during the scan which was a surprise to me as despite my positive pregnancy test ages ago I was just about starting to believe that I was pregnant.

Baby flipped between snuggling deep into my hip bone and doing bum first somersaults so I was sent off on a walk to try to get our bubba to move into a scan friendly position. Our baby was still doing scan defying acrobatics so we were booked for another scan the next day.

After being ordered to run around the hospital after we attempted to scan the next day our bubba finally complied and moved into a good position to get the NT measurements, once again everything ‘appeared normal’.

I was elated. I had a baby. Our baby seemed healthy. Plus all of the acrobatics made me realise that our baby was developing its own mind and preferences already.

A great reminder that our baby is part of me but definitely an individual.

Happy with all of the recent revelations I didn’t pay much attention as I got a blood test done after the scan. As the nurse reeled off what the blood test was for I relished what had just happened;I had seen my baby, it had moved, it seemed fine. I soon discovered that the 12 week blood test was a lot more significant than I thought it’d be.

I’ll give you the 411 in my next post

TOP TIPS FOR YOUR 12 WEEK SCAN

Here are some things I learnt that would’ve made me more prepared for the scan and blood test results

Eat a ‘high calorie’ meal at least one and a half hours before the scan. Apparently this makes sure your baby is active during the scan is so it will be easier to move it into a good position if need be. If you don’t have time to do this try to eat something sugary like a banana or Lucozade half an hour before the scan.

Try not to go for a wee beforehand, I was told an empty bladder makes it more difficult for the scan. Also try not to wet yourself though! It’s a careful balancing act that almost resulted in an adult wee related incident for me recently!

– Sometimes my underwear had to be pulled quite low to get a scan of our bubba. I’m quite a prude so would have been horrified if there were any sly vajay hairs on display.If you’re like me, make sure your vajay is display ready before your scan. If you’re not like me, I admire you and would really like to know your secret.

Be ready to not have great news, I really was not ready for this. My scan was fine but the blood test was not great. I saw the purpose as a scan to see my baby and have a nice, fun time. The Sonographer meanwhile was focusing on checking out that our bubba was healthy, I wish I had remembered this to prepare me mentally for the test.

My Booking Appointment

A few weeks ago I had my booking appointment and it really made all of this pregnancy shizzle seem real (and scary)!

First of all I was late. My appointment was at 10.15 but I didn’t think to check my mental note of 10.30 which was wrong. I panicked slightly when I tried to electronically sign in for my appointment to be told I was too late. Despite a ten minute wait in which I worried about the potential harm of having to re-book my first ever antenatal appointment, it was fine. The midwife was thankfully over running slightly so I was seen with no hassle.

I had to give the midwife a urine sample which was instantly checked for ‘proteins’ ( I still need to look up what that means in the context of pregnancy). I also got weighed and had lots of blood taken.

In the appointment, I was asked loads of questions. Interesting ones included ;’ Do you or your partner have a history of substance use?’, ‘ Do you feel like you are in a threatening environment?’.

These questions really made me grateful that my biggest non- issue at the moment is that P has gone new  kitchen hunting crazy

He wants to constantly talk about kitchens, visit kitchen showrooms and discuss banal kitchen equipment like taps. I’ve realised that in the grand scheme of things, boring kitchen talk is absolutely nothing.

I had to do a Carbon Monoxide test which revealed that the level of Carbon Monoxide in my body was 4 (1 to 3 is a healthy level). High Carbon Monoxide levels can affect our bubba’s growth. I was told this means I have a gas leak in my house (I don’t), second-hand smoked on my way to the appointment or have been breathing in car fumes . I literally left my house, walked past loads of greenery and went across one main road before my appointment. I did not see any smokers.

My reading really highlighted to me how much pollution there is  and I now dramatically go of out of my way to avoid those that are smoking around me

After all of my data was put into the system, it was highlighted that I need to see a consultant as I have pernicious anemia, an autoimmune condition which means my body does not absorb B12 from food so I need to have it injected every 3 months. Pregnancy may increase the symptoms of pernicious anemia and  how often I need injections.

The questioning, support and  information given during my booking appointment was very thorough. I feel like I’m in very good hands. I got so much information, I don’t think I really needed to buy a pregnancy book.

I love the NHS!

blog booking
Lots of leaflets, freebies, coupons, a pregnancy guide, pregnancy vitamins, a magazine…

I have my first scan next week and honestly I’m a bit scared. I was given a leaflet which highlighted all of the problems which can be found. There is no point of me worrying about it now. I’ll have to just see how it goes and deal with anything that may have to be dealt with. Thankfully, H is an optimist so I’m not just stuck with my fearful thoughts.

My Pregnancy Progress

Weeks:12 and 1 day (yay for 12 weeks!)

Size of bubba: The size of a lime (that is so cute/weird/oh my god our baby is growing)

Pregnancy Symptoms:  Prods and  a occassional whooshing feeling in my tummy, Tired

Clothes: I can’t wear t-shirts at the moment as my belly definitely shows now. We’re trying to keep our pregnancy on the down low until we’ve had our scan/tests. I’m all about empire line dresses and big jumpers at the moment.Give it about 3 weeks though and I doubt even they’ll be able to hide my bump.

My Early Pregnancy Symptoms

Before getting the all important evidence that I was pregnant, my out of the ordinary symptoms made me sure that this time  I was actually pregnant.

Here were my early pregnancy symptoms:

 

My boobs were sore

They felt tingly especially in the nipple area just like they do before my monthly is about to start. Only this time the boob pain did not go away like it usually does.

I got an interesting discharge

I diligently prepared for my period complete with my monthly granny knickers but instead there was something which resembled cervical mucus, which I get during super fertile times in my cycle, with a tiny spot of brown.

I thought this was a sign that my period was starting in an odd way but it turns out that it may have been implantation bleeding

I sobbed about things which were not sob-worthy

On our honeymoon I  remember looking at my new, amazing husband and our lovely, luxurious Swim up room and thinking about the gorgeous dinner we were just about to indulge in, when I just couldn’t take it anymore. I burst into uncontrollable, quite insane tears. When H asked what was wrong, in between sobs I managed, ‘I’m just (breath) so haaaapppy’ before beginning another cycle of  breathy sobs. It goes without saying that those level of tears were just a little bit OTT. 

I felt a prick like pain in a specific place in my tummy

I’m not quite sure if describing it as painful is quite accurate but it was definitely uncomfortable. It felt like someone had the fine point of a crochet needle and was gently prodding in a particular part of my belly occasionally.

Did you get any other early pregancy symptoms? Anyone else for crochet needle point  pain?!?

Just back from Honeymoon and guess what?!..

I’m pregnant. Actually, really pregnant. When I told H that I thought I was, he didn’t quite believe me. In the airport on the way back home I determinedly hunted out a pregnancy test whilst he coolly took in episode # 7892 of ‘Nat thinks  she is pregnant again’. As I rushed upstairs to FINALLY do the test he busied himself unpacking, clearly not expecting anything.

But when I saw the mystical two lines on my test and rushed bellowing downstairs, parading my precious evidence to him, I expected the tears and amazement that I have seen lots from new YouTube dads but I got none of that.Apparently one of the lines was faint. I rushed out to Sainsburys determined to get some concrete evidence and promptly peed on a clear blue test which tells you if you’re pregnant and when you conceived.

It was there, declaring that our baby was probably created  very soon after our wedding.

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I have to admit that I can’t even remember the number of times that I have thought I was pregnant, come to think of it, probably every single time I have done the deed despite the battleaxe of contraception that I have armoured myself with. When we got married we did not use any contraception for the first time ever, not knowing how long it would take us to conceive.

Since finding out I’ve been a busy bee.

We moved house over a year ago but I’ve finally signed up to a local doctor. Having to hobble over one hour away for an appointment is not a good look. I’ve told maternity services that I have a Wedding Night/ Honeymoon Bun in the oven so will soon have an appointment with my midwife and an ultrasound scam.

I’m six weeks pregnant; my app tells me that this means that our bubba is the size of a chocolate chip. I have a new respect and confidence in my body, look what it has done!!

Our bubba is due on 22nd January. This blog is going to detail my metamorphosis into motherhood.